Best Friends

Is there anything like a Best Friend? Really, is there?!

I was taking inventory of the people who I happen to call friends and discovered that not one of them...Not a single one, was in my opinion a close friend.

So, it got me thinking, do I have trust issues? As a matter of fact I do, thank you very much. For the past 2years I would say, it has been doggone hard to open up to someone. I am soooo paranoid that when one of my former roommates aske me to hang out with her, red flags went off in my head. "What in the world did she want with me?" I ask myself over and over. Well, she only wanted to kick back and talk about the past, and watch a Nigerian movie. (She's a die hard fan!).

Back in the day,when i was young and foolish, having a BFF was a code to live by. I mean not only did we walk shoulder to shoulder all the way home everyday after school, but sharing goodies like mabuyu and barafu was such a delight. It was a crime, so unspeakable to walk around without your best friend in tow.

Sooner or later, we grew up and that was when the funk hit the fan. Smiles turned to sneers, the "I'm so happy for you dear." became 'that self-absorbed narcissistic b*tch." Where did we go wrong?

I can't tell you how many times that long 9 inch knife has been thrust into my back by a so-called Best friend. High School was the worst esp after my best friend turned aganist me and it was sooo bad it took years to recover.

What makes a secret keeper turn into a character assasin with the twinkling of an eye? Is it jealousy, envy? What?!!

I am not talking about man stealing because i can safely say that my choice in men has always greatly differed with all of my best friends. They don't fancy my taste in men and i sure don't fancy theirs. It's the opening up part that kills me, i mean you share your hopes, dreams with your BFF thinking that they will keep it to themsleves only to hear someone utter something similar to what you whispered to your confidant in a public forum. I mean do some people get off on other people's public humiliation?

So, after much heartache, i have come to the conclusion that, i am my own best friend and my "alleged" friends will be held at arms length at all times. That's my story and i am sticking to it.