AOB

I recently have become an FM addict.(forget hi-def radio, i ain't got time to be buying special receivers for all that crap). I'm sticking to the ones already there- tried and true.
By the way have you ever wondered how/why radio is free? I mean compared to having cable that faithfully steals from you every month despite there being nothing but a pile of crap on tv, day-in day-out!!

Anyway as i was saying about my tuner-fad. I came across this nutty lady who has an afternoon show. She was talking one time about how after she became clean(was into coke major) she has now channeled all that energy into being a planner, and not just any old planner. She plans her life to six months out! I thot she was nuts! She calls it Bree Vanderkamping(from DHousewives). She books her family's doctors appointements, where and when they are going for vacation, she's invovled in her son's school, has her own hustles on the side on top of having a radio show. I'm exhausted just writing about her life!!
She said that once you have an addiction to something and you overcome it, you sort get another addiction to fill that void.

Back to me.
I have always loved food- God i love it! And if you were a close friend, you would have noticed that i get all excited whenever food is mentioned.

I did notice however, that after moving to this country, i have silently been going up a pant size almost every 6months to a year. Not that i am a junk food fanatic, it's just that i've never changed my old eating habits, which consisted of eating like a famine was about to break-out in an hour's time.
The straw that broke the camel's back? Last summer when i had to buy a size 12 swimdress, not a costume-(tankini or just 1 piece, a swim-damn-dress!!). I'm not saying that 12 is a big size, but i am no statuesque chic so, yeah, i had reached my breaking point in the dressing room. My ass was just out there, wanting it's own zip-code and so did my hips!
I took matters into my own hands and got on a diet and exercise program. Well, it's been about 6 months and i gotta say that i have lost a whole lot of weight and i feel like a new person. N/B: I was not weighing or even near 200lbs, so relax.

The positive side is walking into the dressing room and calling out for the assistant to bring you an outfit in a smaller size!
Crap, now i sound like the crazy women you see in those 3am informercials!

The negative: I am soo afraid of gaining the weight back that i am sometimes substituting a good portion of food for alcohol.

I am not falling out drunk, but there are days when i get home, tired and hungry and i can't even bring myself to look at the stove or the fridge.Instead i reach for a glass of wine and call that dinner. The result, i nearly passed out from exhaustion this past week. I do plan to cook this weekend for the whole week but i know by tuesday night, i will be tired of warming up food, so i'll reach for my trusted wine and call it a night.

Weight issues aside, i still can't figure out my love life- since Milo is still dealing with women of ill-repute(you know i gotta throw gas on it).
I am basically clueless when it comes to men.
The bilaz train has made several pit-stops this month but i don't know why my lover and i just can't seem to get a relationship going. Even the pit-stops aren't that frequent.
I did apply slight pressure the other day and had my way but, boy did i feel bad after that. I guess i'm still old fashioned and want the guy to make the move. At this point i don't know what i really want. Honestly speaking, the passion is dying because it's not translating into what i would like- a relationship. The thrill of seeing and being with him is not as strong and potent as it once was. Gosh! am i turning into a dude?!!

*sigh*

On a positive note, it's the weekend and someone close to me is buying drinks...yay! No, i'm no lush,just need to unwind from a hectic week and a non-existant love-life.