Have you Ever...

...Been in a situation where you break up with someone of the opposite sex and you were not actually going out in the first place?

A few weeks ago at a party...

I was sitting outside with a few friends and a not-so-sober pal who was upchucking her meal of the day. Minding my own business, this guy approaches me and starts small talk. He was well presented and seemed to know how to hold a strait conversation. He was clearly much different from the rest of the guys in the party- who were too drunk to afford manners. The talk was going on well until he whips out his cell phone and proceeds to ask for my number.
Now I have a policy about giving out my digits, "Don't call me, I'll call you."

I tried to weasel my way out of giving out my number but he was soo instant that it was getting embarrassing. I didn't have my phone with me coz my purse was big enough to hold a stick of gum and lipgloss. So I told him to write down his number and I will call him but, he wouldn't have it.
Finally, I caved in and he punched in my numbers and then proceeds to call the number to make sure it's not the number to the local police station. When he hears my voice mail he hangs up and then smiles at me and says, "You can now save my number."
I give him a weak smile.

After a few moments of awkward silence... I decide to head back indoors and retrieve my other pal who is clearly having himself a jolly ol' time and tell him that I'm leaving. Unbeknownst to me, the 'guy with my number' is hot on my trails asking me who am I looking for with such gusto. I murmur something to the effect of, "a good friend I came with."
I meet my friend who gets he is clearly looking upset after I brief him that not only am I leaving but that I need him to direct me out of this place (coz God knows which part of the world we were in).
The 'guy' is still following me like a lost puppy and it's beginning to get on my last nerves. He seemed to get upset if any other guys talked to me. How do I know that? Well he seems to appear in the midst of every chat I was having with any guy. Now y'all know that when Kenyans are saying bye to each other, no matter the occasion whether it's a party or at the bus-stop, the process takes about an hour or so. I'm doing my goodbye laps and he is clicking at my heels. So very annoying!
When he sees that I am on my way out, he also states that he too is on his way out and would like to walk me to my car, which I politely refuse. I mean WTH?!!I don't know you like that for you to be giving me a push to my mots (LOL). I will take my chances with the patrolling cops around the neighborhood.

Twenty minutes later, I am still on the road and the only thing keeping me awake is some random radio station I tuned to that is playing Contemporary Christian Rock music.
Ring ring goes my phone.
The number looks strange:

"Hello" I say with a bored voice.
"Hey Kelitu. It's H. I was calling to see if you had gotten home already."
"Nah, still on the road."
"So can we meet today, for lunch or a drink?"
It was about 3am.
"Uhh, I don't think that will be possible. I have other things to do."
"Oh, you know I am just sitting here thinking about you. There something special about you. I would like to spend some time with you. Your the 1st Kenyan chic who I have met that is different." He says. Apparently mamas from his country of origin (South of the Jamhuri border) happen not to have that certain 'Je n'ai ce quas?!' 'cuse me french.


*Thoughts running thru my head when he said this* "Okay, WTH?!! What are you now? A freaking talent agent?! Spending 10 minutes talking with me doesn't define who I am. And who says I wanna spend time with you?"

So I decided to put this guy out of his misery and proceed to inform him that I am seeing someone. To which he asks."Is he Kenyan?"
WTH?!! Kwani I can't date a non-kenyan?
"Actually, he is not Kenyan?" I reply.
"Oh okay, coz even me, I'm seeing someone too." he says.
"Oh and she is okay with you seeing other people?" I ask
"Well, we are kinda going thru a rough patch." he says.

Boy oh boy, if I had a nickel for everytime I have heard that line...mmm, mmm, mmm.

"Look, if you recall I did not want to give you my number in the beginning because of this but you kept insisting. I don't want you getting any ideas that anything could happen."

Silence on the other end of the phone.

"Look H I gotta go, I am about to hit a drop zone and my phone will disconnect. So good nite."
"Okay, Kelitu. Good nite."

I almost threw my phone out the window in disgust...Where is a prepaid phone when you need one?

The next day, H keeps calling my phone non-stop. I'm at a house party and I clearly don't have time to be dealing with his stories.

The following week was a repeat of the weekend, him calling non-stop using different numbers. Finally by the end of the week, he pages me and I return the call steaming.

"Hey Kelitu. You are so hard to get hold off."
"Yeah well, I'm a busy person."
"So the weekend is here, can we meet?"
"Look H. I told you, I'm seeing someone and I don't think that it would be right to do that behind his back."
"Why don't I call you after work..."
"No, there's nothing that you would tell me that would change my mind." I interject before he is done,
"No please, let me call you..."
"No please don't call me." I respond. "Good Bye."

I felt bad that it came to this. I was feeling soo drained dealing with him. But I wasn't feeling him like that. Did I lead in on? But how? Talking about work related issues is a come-on nowadays?

I did not hear from him for several days, then he pops up again. Calls and leaves some sobby message that I should call him back and stuff...arrghh!! Okay that's one character that is not good on a man who is trying to score with me. If I'm not feeling you. I think you have to be intelligent enough to read in between the lines. I don't have to spell everything out to you.
Hopefully H will lose my number sometime soon coz I'd hate to have to read him out.