I'm just saying!!

It's an unwritten rule ...somewhere, that when it's time for a girls nite out...better known as G.N.O. that you have to leave your drama at home!

I adhere to this rule as so do most of my girlpals, but once in a while there's some chics who did not get the memo!

My good friend M, has this Naija-Akata pal who was celebrating her birthday.(she's naija but came here in her teens so she's very akata in her mannerisms).

What M never told me was that she and her pal have a love-hate relationship.

Apparently, they are always fighting over some mess or other.

One time it was because Miss Naija was feeling ignored coz M has to go to school and work two-jobs and is not finding time to hang out with her.
Meanwhile, she- Miss Naija is in school and working and involved in some mess with a married man
...who is separated from his wife- (though they still live together). Oh, and the best part is the wife is now a lesbian or something so the guy swears that there's not sex going on.
He doesn't want to kick her out coz she's the mother to his kids and apparently can't support herself- something to do with her not working or not having money...

yes i know i lost half of y'all already...

Okay, back to the tale at hand then...

So i was set to go when she told me about this ...about 3 weeks back or something like that....but as the days drew nigh, i was just feeling really out of it. When i got off work yesterday, it was such a crummy day not to mentioned it rained when my trusted weatherman had promised me sun and 52 degrees...it's was a balmy 37!!

M calls on my drive home and i tell her i may not be able to make it- I'm tired and just wanna relax. I get home, pour myself a glass of wine and unwind with a good book. After 2hours, the drink hit the right spot. I called M and was like "why not...lets go!"

apparently,we were suppose to meet at 7.30pm, i was still in the house at 7.45pm so by the time we met at the hotel parking lot, people had gathered attitude. It was mighty frosty!!

So M and i sat in the back while Miss Naija and her Akata female friend -T, sat in front. M and i were busy in our chat-about, when Miss Naija turns around and says "I think it's rude that your guys are sitting back there, talking in your language and not involving us in your conversation."
I looked at M like "WTH??!!" So M turns and tells her that we are talking in english and besides the radio is too loud, so we would be shouting to get heard.

The frostiness continues...
...M and i talk for a while after that...minimal talk...coz you know our ignant asses might revoke back to talking swa...lol!!

After an uncomfortable 45minutes, we finally make it to Philly. We head off to some jazz spot, get our drinks(which were awful and for the price they were going for, they outta shut-down!!)
So it's a real akata spot ya know...i felt very Suzy John place in the middle of da hood. (Okay my ass was terrified being with soo many akatas at one go!!). After all this is killa...i mean Philadelphia- about to break that 400 mark in senseless murders before the year ends!!

*shudders*

The spot is not bad. It's real down-home, soul-food joint and all. But the air was musty- every now and again, a whiff of collard greens was evident!

M, being the miss drama that she, turns to Miss Naija and they go at it...yes they did...acting all negro and junk!!
I turned and started concentrating h.a.r.d on what was going on on the tube and so did the akata chic sitting next to me.
They bickered for about 10 minutes, till the cornbread came and broke-up the fight.

The dinner was icy, luckily some jazz dude was singing so we didn't have to bother with small-talk.

After we were, done M and T go to the bathroom and they were gone for a long time!! So i turn to Miss Niaja and ask "Are they still in the bathroom?" she shrugs and says "Probably, i dunno." We sat there for 15 minutes.
I got fed up and went to the ladies to look them. They weren't there.
When i went back table, they had come back.
So Miss Naij and T excuse themselves and go to the ladies...again. I turn to M and ask "Ok, where were you?" M replies "Oh, me and T had to got air out our differences outside."
Yes my jaw dropped!!
"What?!!"
"Uh-huh, i told her that she's been acting fresh towards me all night and being rude to you and so we had to take it outside!"

I was stunned. I knew M was a drama-queen, but this was extreme!! I mean i love drama as much as the next chic, but c'mon man!!! There's a time and place for all that mess to go down...not when we are an hour from home and without a way of getting back!!

They come back to the table, we pay and leave.

We decide to check out the club scene. Which after a few tries of trying to get street parking, we ended up having to go to those garages that charge $7 an hour! I made a quick mental note :I'm too grown for this mess!!

T's man apparently used to live in Philly. But because he was not coming out with his gal, he decided not to tell her all the nice spots we can go hang out. We had to result to bar-hoping. Just because his ass is jealous, insecure and hateful... that frigging' idiot!!!

Take a moment and inhale!!

So we get inside and M, Miss Naija and myself are dancing...T sits down, puts her face is her hands and looks bored. This white guy came to dance with us and when he saw her sitting down, he made it his aim to make her stand up and dance.
Man, you should have seen the frown on her face...made her look like something alien!! She completely refused to budge, the guy gave up (and for a white man to do that , you know he had tried!!)
I swear i wanted to slap the life outta her!!
Okay, what the hell is wrong with her?! Who the hell is she perioding for?!! If she didn't want to come out, why is she here?!! UGH!!
So i decided to ignore her and have fun till it was time to come home.

*sighing*

M calls me today morning to talk about last night. I told her that that was the first and last time I'm doing any akata mama a rave favor. I already have enough drama in my life that involves mamaz. I'm not trying to start more fires and especially with them akataz.
I can't! I can't!

5 tips for the modern woman

1. It is important that a man helps you around the house and has a job.

2. It is important that a man makes you laugh.

3. It is important to find a man you can count on and doesn't lie to you.

4. It is important that a man loves you and spoils you.

5. It is important that these four men don't know each other.


And a Merry Christmas to all!!